– Via The Daily Love
When You Numb Your Pain You Numb Your Joy! Stay Open!
Negative energy is an interesting thing. We tend to dislike it - and it makes sense. It’s not fun to experience either giving or receiving. But, it’s a part of life - and to deny this part of life is to deny life.
My mom said something REALLY wise to me last week. She has had MASSIVE back troubles in her life - surgery, dying and coming back from it and she is a token of perseverance and rising above the diagnoses of doctors. She has had a relationship with pain her whole adult life. And if anyone is justified in being negative, it’s her.
And you know what - she’s not. She is my constant spiritual teacher in being cool, calm, collected and present. We talk pretty much every day and it’s something I’ve done for the last 11 years since I moved to L.A. Last week she said, “When you numb your pain, you numb your joy.”
And this is a BIG statement coming from HER. She knows A LOT about pain because she lives with it daily. And it really got me thinking. I get asked all the time how folks can “be open, but not feel pain.” And that’s just not how it works. And my mom’s wise statement pretty much sums up why. When we are open to life, we are open to pain. And life is a duality. Positive and negative. To be open, is to be open to both.
The KEY is in how WE interpret these energies. It’s easy to interpret positive energy in a powerful way. It’s not so easy to interpret negative energy this way. It’s damn hard. It’s almost impossible.
But that is one of the keys to happiness, fulfillment and spiritual growth - to be open and to give negative energy an EMPOWERING meaning. I didn’t say - make negative positive. NO. And I didn’t say DENY negative energy, I said give negative energy an EMPOWERING meaning. That means to learn the lesson, see it in a way that honors the negative’s existence, but doesn’t make you dwell in it.
Hurt, pain, anger, loss - all these are natural parts of life. To stop ourselves from living because we do not want to go to these emotive places is to stop ourselves from living at all. As we open to life, we open to all of life. And that’s what we signed up for in this human experience. To be on this rollercoaster and to not let it consume us, but instead, to become steadfast enough in our practice where we feel - and float with it - instead of against it.
When we are open to life in its BRILLIANCE, BEAUTY, JOY, ABUNDANCE and its HURT, PAIN, TRAGEDY and SADNESS - then we are fully alive. And as we open to the negative, it also gives us more empathy for the negative that others are experiencing - and this tends to unite us.
Don’t cut yourself off from life because you only want to feel the good and are scared of feeling the negative. The journey is worth it. The pain is a teacher. The negativity brings us lessons that we NEED to learn. Stay open.
– Mastin Kipp, The Daily Love
WHAT IF OUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS LEAD TO WISDOM?
We don’t deny the negative, we just put it in the proper context as being miracles for our own growth.
Many times in the personal growth and spiritual space we can confuse “positive thinking” and “positive denial.”
Positive denial can be very destructive. Positive thinking can be very helpful.
As Seekers, the last thing we want to do is put our head in the sand when there is a problem and just “positive think” our way into denial and more pain. So, instead of just always being positive and that positivity being fake, we must also embrace the negative.
In fact, it is when we give voice and healing to the negative thoughts, emotions and situations in our lives that we transform. When we choose to stare at negativity and pain and embrace them as lessons, we begin to shift and change.
If we deny the negative within us, it begins to grow. And if we pretend to think that everything is ok, when it’s not - we are no longer living in reality.
Fear and negativity exist for a reason; we must honor them and recognize them, but not dwell on them. Fear is a survival mechanism that keeps us alive and has since we were first created!
A toxic relationship is negative. But when we look closer at our own decisions, we begin to see how we contributed to the toxic relationship and, as a result, how we brought the negativity and toxicity on ourselves. In this way, we begin to learn from the toxic and negative outcomes and then alter our behavior. Negative situations point us to greater understanding of ourselves and, with awareness give us the amazing power of choice where we empower ourselves to learn from the negativity and make a new choice.
Being negative isn’t bad - and it doesn’t mean you are a bad person… It’s normal, natural and there for us to LEARN from. Negativity is just as much a natural part of life as positivity. To live in either extreme only is living a life out of balance!
This idea can be expanded into every area of your life. We can learn from fear, toxicity and negativity and turn them into a positive and joyful outcome when we realize that they are teachers and not final outcomes.
There is DEEP wisdom within our fear and negative thoughts, once we stop making ourselves wrong for having them, we can learn from them and become even wiser for it!
No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.– Wayne Dyer, is a best-selling author and speaker! (The Daily Love)
It’s amazing how much turmoil we cause in our lives just because we don’t stop to feel our feelings. It’s like we’ll do almost ANYTHING else but feel our feelings if those feelings are scary.
One reason why just reading books & going to seminars and reading TDL is not enough is because if all we are doing is chasing the next thing, then we are substituting the next thing for feeling our feelings.
I had a client recently discover that all her life she denied her feelings. And she wondered why people were always at a distance. She wondered why she never experienced true intimacy (which requires truth telling). And after a month of working together plus suggesting she go on The Love Cleanse, she started to feel. The Love Cleanse will make you feel, baby!
But what she was feeling was not elation – it was sadness. And after about 30 days of not drinking, she wanted to go back; I suggested that she didn’t, and she passed through the storm of the emotions she was hiding with alcohol. Then a couple weeks later when she wanted to go back to an ex that wasn’t healthy for her, I suggested she not and just wait out the feelings. She did and after the feelings of wanting him back passed, she said to me that she is so happy she didn’t go back because her life would be in so much turmoil right now if she did.
And THAT’s the magic! Just staying with the feelings a little longer, not giving in to them, not allowing ourselves to become victims of emotion. But rather, love ourselves enough to know that, “This too will pass”.
This emotional arc that we pass through, some people call it “The Dark Night of The Soul”, others call it just plain crazy. But what if, on the other side of feeling your feelings, what if you just felt them instead of ate them, drink them or spent them away? We would step into a broader world where so much more was possible.
This is not easy, but on the other side is freedom. We do not have to be held captive by our desires and our patterns. We can rise above them. Will you join my client today in rising above?
Comment or email WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.
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