Ever do something, knowing inherently that it’s wrong?
Yeah, well, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately!
Like say, being bored, but going out with someone to fill the time AND because they will pay for things for you…
Money has not been a strong point of mine these last few months.
As well as not being able to get a job.
Or keep a job.
Or keep any money… because I’m bored… so what else am I supposed to do???!!!
It really has become a vicious, vicious, circle.
And I’m still bored.
And with a little less money everytime.
Especially since it seems my lying ways have just recently walked me into a lovely parking ticket!
That’s when I knew the universe was saying to me…
“Hey, lady! Listen up! You’re not valuing yourself or others! YOU are worth it! So stop using someone else to show you your worth and value… and hey, just to stick it to you, here’s a parking ticket…”
Needless to say, I didn’t react the way I should’ve after receiving this ticket.
But we needen’t get into that!
These last few months have been quite the rollercoaster, to say the least.
And, it has been said that you will repeat a lesson over and over again until it’s learned.
Lemme just tell ya, that is a fact!
Because it seems I am repeating things a lot and a lot more frequently.
Whether it is my money issues, the way I undervalue myself and put myself down, how I give too much of myself to others and too easily, how I am in love with the notion of love and put everything before that, how I eat or drink away my emotions, how I look at everything from a negative perspective rather than a positive…
It all comes back to how I see and value myself.
And, from what I have both heard and most recently learned, what you put out into the universe is what you shall receive.
For instance, if you worry that you are going to become fat from having infrequent cookie binges… you probably will have more frequent cookie binges from worrying about getting fat from your infrequent cookie binges, thus leading to the impending doom of weight gain.
Kinda like, what you ask for, you shall receive!!!
Yeah, the universe is powerful like that!
So, for my future days, it’s all about learning lessons that I have been avoiding and facing things and/or people/feelings that I have been avoiding.
It’s about committing myself more to my practices of yoga and mediation and being okay with sitting with my powerful and not so scary emotions.
It’s about seeing myself for the wonderful person I am who makes A LOT of mistakes, but who always learns and grows from them… eventually!
It’s about instilling a more positive attitude and thought pattern, seeing that the world is a lovely place and not something to dread whenever I wake up.
And, as always my Love Rebel’s, it’s about love!!!!!!!!
Merry Christmas, baby, from MyEmoHeart xoxo