I used to see my ability to feel everything as a burden.
As a disability, if you will.
Okay, I still do most of the time.
But I am beginning to see why I am the way I am.
You can’t make yourself different than you are.
So, you have to learn to love yourself.
And that’s what yoga has been helping me to learn.
Everyone is a certain way for a reason.
And everyone is beautiful just the way they are.
We may have deep, ugly emotions that continue to disable us from seeing the beauty of reality.
But once we begin to embrace the good with bad, the highs with the lows, the pain with the happiness, a wonderful feeling of oneness and peace begins to come over you.
But just as soon as we realize this, we often fall back into that deep, dark hole of utter despair.
So, we must pick ourselves back up and try, try again.
If you know me, you know that I am a perfectionist.
And, that I am also used to getting my way.
Well, life has really turned everything upside down for me.
But the only constant is yoga.
The only thing that keeps me grounded and sane is making myself practice.
And I learn something new about myself every single time I choose to go within.
Dark emotions seem to plague me more often than not, disabling me from my truth and from seeing clearly.
I have always wanted to work in the entertainment industry, mostly as a performer, and have tried unsuccessfully for many years to get somewhere.
What I didn’t notice is how much stress everything surrounding that notion has given me.
So I decided to focus on Durga, the mother goddess, asking her to help me let go of things no longer serving me, to help me realize my power as a woman, to help me let go of addiction, and to see what is true within my heart.
Essentially I heard that I need to let go of ego. I need to be okay with what is. I need to enjoy and let go. I need to focus on yoga and everything else I want will come… to just be patient.
And this answer has come to me time and time again.
I’ve found it a struggle to be a true yogi because I am young. I still have a lot to learn. I have an eating disorder that rears it’s nasty head every day in some way, I am addicted to many things and people, I like to drink and I don’t necessarily pay attention to how or what I eat, or say recycle anything.
But it’s all about finding the balance.
It’s not about beating myself up, yet again for not being perfect.
What is perfect anyways?!
So as I try to balance my need to be creative with my calling as a yogi, I will try to let go and find that balance within and without.
Even if it takes me my whole life to learn.
Surrendering the past from MyEmoHeart
I know that I am on the brink of BIG change in my life when I feel fear. Not the kind of fear you feel when you see a dangerous person in a dark alley, I’m talking about the kind of fear that only BIG change can bring.
For me, when opportunity comes, I usually want to hide in my bed or under something. I want to retreat and not go out into the world. It is EXACTLY moments like this that I know I must keep going.
What’s funny is that in moments like this in the past, when I wanted to retreat, I would retreat. But what’s ironic and funny about that is when we don’t act because we are afraid, we stay stuck in the thing we’re afraid of.
Does that make sense?
Not acting because we are afraid is what keeps us afraid and typically not acting; because we are afraid is what MANIFESTS the outcomes we are afraid of.
It’s totally ironic how that works, isn’t it?
So, what we must do is SLOWLY start to prove our fear wrong. And RIGHT before any major breakthrough is when fear is at its greatest. This is a pattern I see ALL the time in my life, especially recently because I’ve had to step out into a lot of unknowns lately. And what’s cool is that on the other end, I always come through the other side OK. So my NEW practice is to apply the feeling of being OK BEFORE I step into what I’m afraid of, and hold that mindset as I’m going through the fear.
It’s a powerful practice!
So, what areas of your life are you afraid to embrace? What action are you not taking out of fear? Can you see that you are holding your own expansion back by NOT taking action?
Personal growth often includes letting go of those closest to us.
Whether this be a family member, friend, boyfriend or girl friend, sometimes our path to happiness includes choosing to spend less time with or completely removing some people from our lives who do not aid in our growth.
And it is okay to maybe tell your dad you have to get off the phone when he starts putting down your uncle once again.
It’s okay to tell a friend that you just need some time alone when they might need to talk about something.
It’s okay to tell someone that you are not in the right space emotionally to be here for them.
It is okay to choose to not make others’ problems yours!
It is okay to make a peaceful space and set boundaries for what you are comfortable with.
And it is okay to want to align yourself with those with similar mindsets.
In life, people come and go.
You deserve to be happy the whole way through.
Standing in my full power from MyEmoHeart
– Via The Daily Love
"Developing personal power includes learning not to negotiate your self-worth for the sake of someone else or sell yourself short for a job."
"The ability to know that your perceptions are accurate has to happen without others’ validation. Intuition is not the result of diet, rituals, or wind chimes. It’s the natural consequence of having self-esteem, the greatest power you can have. With self-esteem, your life can broaden into an adventure because you can know in your gut that you can handle the unknown. And you can handle helping others without fear, which is true liberation."
- Caroline Myss, best-selling author and soul mama!
– Mastin Kipp, The Daily Love
LEAD BY EXAMPLE, NOT BY THEORY!
What’s more convincing… Someone who says one thing and does another, or someone who walks his or her talk? It’s easy to know the answer when you read it in my blog. Of COURSE it’s the person who is walking their talk - DUH.
But in life, it’s not so obvious.
If you REALLY want to inspire people, walk your talk. The days of “do as I say, not as I do” - are over! With the Internet and social media, we live in a world of transparency. No falsities. And why this is GREAT for people on the spiritual path in the spiritual world is that the playing field is level and we can all embrace our humanity.
No one is perfect. No one. Not ONE self-help person you look up to is the perfect image that you imagine them to be. In many ways, those of us who are the “teachers” are the most messed up ones because we have come to teach what we need to learn ourselves.
The good news here is that we can now use our pain, our weakness, our shortcomings and our mistakes, not as more reasons for us to be WRONG, but we can now share them authentically and know that we are not alone. In this allowingness of our humanity, empathy and compassion emerge, as does a sense of connection.
Think about it. If TDL was just a big soapbox for how I thought I was so perfect, it would be total BS and you could see that a mile away. My guess is that the reason why you love TDL so much is that I just tell you my story, my faults AND also my insights and strengths. It SPANS the human experience instead of just reaching for some unreachable height of spiritual perfection that actually denies life itself.
Life is messy. We mess up. We have great moments. We have horrible moments. We have brilliant moments. The goal is to allow and admit them all. To be willing to look bad, silly or goofy. To not aim for perfection, but rather express ourselves as we are, strong, scared and in human form.
So, if you want to inspire someone, do it with who you are BEING, not what you are saying.
How can what you SAY and what you DO link up? Leave a comment on the blog and let me know!
You don’t need to pretend everything is okay when it’s not.
When you are feeling blue, try to practice gratitude.
This will help to shift your perspective from the negative to the positive.
Try to react differently than you normally do.
Always respect yourself and others.
If you are being disrespected by another, react with kindness and try not to take it personally.
Always share love.
The darkness, the deep inexpressible pain, the hurt, the is only building you for greatness.
I promise you this.
You just have to willing to change.
And that is all.
Finding truth and serenity from MyEmoHeart
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.– Lao-Tzu, Via The Daily Love
If you keep going following the same path, everything will always be the same.
For change to occur, you must be willing to change!
Divalicious from MyEmoHeart