So here I am at a crossroads trying to not eat the whole container of cookies… Again (a little while later, I did).
So frustrated with how everything is and wanting to eat away my feelings. It’s the same old story.
They say, “No, you can’t do what you are passionate about. You are not good enough.”
So, I believe them.
And it eats me alive.
And I eat my feelings away because I have nowhere to place them.
It seems I always try to sabotage myself, but, I am so afraid of taking a risk.
So, inevitably, I am stuck.
And no one can help me but myself.
I feel so disgusted with myself, so I literally make myself sick.
I feel so poorly about the way I look that I make myself feel ugly physically.
Approval seeking is just not pretty! Having self confidence is.
What you read on this blog is something that is happening in real time. It is a girl trying to find her way and be true to herself in a very disapproving world. This is my dairy into which you get to see personally what I struggle with on a daily basis. I just have so much passion and not the right outlets for my passion.
And I believe too much of what other people tell me, and not what I feel in my heart.
I know I am not conventional in the ways I “should” be… But, I wouldn’t want to be.
However, it is awfully scary to step out and be yourself when you always need approval.
It is hard to take a risk when you are so accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and afraid of the unknown.
But, fear is necessary in order to grow in any way.
So is letting go.
So let’s do this!!
I believe in me.
Do you believe in you?
Self approvingly yours from MyEmoHeart